* God created the Google algorithm on the 8th day.
* Google searches for anything anywhere. It knows what you eat and what you *plum*.
* NASA have not found extra-terrestrial life because they were not smart enough to use Google
* When Serge Brin and Larry Page were born, Bill Gates had a nervous breakdown.
* Google costs so much there is a special Google department which invents this large number.
* Atlantis, Shakespeare’s unknown diaries and Mozart’s unreleased album were found using Google.
* If Google can’t find anything, it means this thing is not going to appear for thousand years from now on.
* Google’s main server is cast from purest gold, has a platinum keyboard and a display made from 20 kg of diamonds.
* Google is going to clone Einstein to employ him.
* JK Rowling searches for new Harry Potter in Google.
* Chuck Norris got a cell phone with Google Mobile -
http://mobile.google.com/.
* Online advertising market still exists due to Google.
* 57% of American kids say ‘Google’ as their first word.
* I Google, therefore I exist.
* Google has the most modest logo in entire universe.
* If Google has an idea, competitors can shut down their business.
* Blue, green, red and yellow were designed by Google to be used in its logo.
* When a baby is born anywhere on Earth, it gets fully indexed by Google.
* American schools will soon have a class of Googling to teach the kids to use Google services.
* Google servers contain so much information all other information gravitates to it like steel to magnet.
* Once Google services were shut down for 0.1 second for maintenance. This caused disappearing of some galaxies.
* Google servers contain information about search queries God made when creating universe. This is the main reason for Google not to disclose the search query information to the US government.
* One employee of Google decided to crack a joke and send all the Google cache to his friend’s GMail.com account, using Gmail. GMail.com was happy to face minor damage only because the fiber-optical cables it used to connect its servers were quick enough to melt.
* Google uses a new system for cooling down its CPUs which creates the absolute zero temperature.
* Every Sunday all Christians go to churches and pray to God that Google researchers never have an idea to create a perfect human.
* Experts say the Christmas mini-serial about a mouse and a cat was nothing less than a hypnosis method. Everybody on the net watched things develop, and those who missed the last episode died from curiosity. After so many victims died Google showed the entire serial to the public.
* US government politely asked Google to provide information about search queries its users make. Google politely asked US government to provide information about queries MSN and Yahoo users make. The government had to agree.
* After Vladimir Zhirinovsky claimed Russian scientists can change the gravity field of the Earth, causing the entire territory of the US to be flooded, Google claimed it tested its own technology in Atlantis.
* One of Google founders lost his wallet while being in Russia. He did not want to look for small change, but after that Russia experienced a 75% improvement in its financial position.
* Once a Google user typed ‘free porn’ as a search query. As a result, so many pages were found the result page was 2 Terabytes in size and this user’s PC exploded. Since then there were improvements in the Google algorythm.
* From all the bricks with letters for kiddies you can only make one word, which is ‘Google’.
* Google invented a md5 decipher algorithm without matching.
* All the letters used in the ‘Google’ word are copyrighted by Google. According to forecasts, Google will buy rights for other letters soon (which made Chinese and Japanese very happy). The company name won’t change, though.
* If you have an age or psychological crisis, Google recommends you to find yourself using Google.
* Today 20% of children born for the last several years bear the proud name of Google. There is such a kid in Russia, called Google Ivanov.
* A second of Google servers’ work takes power equal to 3 Chuck Norris reverse kicks.
1. Djeca su neiskvarena, iskrena i istinski zla!!! Dobrota je poremećaj koji se razvija naknadno...
2. Ljubav je bolest koja je opće prihvaćena i svi je tretiraju da to nije....
3. Djeca i obitelj su nepotrebni trošak!
4. Djeca nisu slatka - ona su glasna, placu i smrde, a potom postanu i trosak!
5. Zašto dati prirodi mogucnost da se igra necijim genomom odnosno vašim djetetom?! Kao prvo - morate napraviti DNA analizu da uopce doznate jel' klinac vaš! Drugo - nikad neznas što ćeš dobit... Lakse je nes klonirat! Bar odma znas sto ces dobit!!!
6. Sexualni odnosi su opijumi za mase, slično kao i religija...
7. Život = Novac; i obrnuto...
8. Energija nije konstantna! Ona nastaje i nestaje...
9. U početku bijaše XX odnosno žena! Nakon toga, lomljenjem Jednog X kromosoma nastaje XY tj. muškarac! Muški rod je evolucijski napredan...
10. Muški mozak je u najranijem razvitku moduliran ženskim spolnim hormonima - estrogenom i progesteronom, zato i djeca jesu zla... Dobrota se javlja pod utjecajem testosterona! Isto tako i realno sagledavanje, objektivnost, racionalnost i odgovornost...itd.
11. Ne podcijenjuj žensku psihopatologiju - ni kad su pijane!
12. Žene su u biti ili suštini sklone raspravama o nebitnim stvarima - filozofiji, ogovaranju, trošenju nerealnih količina novca, zapovjedanju - zato je trudnoća "blaženo stanje!"
13. Infarkt je stanje srcanog kolapsa koji najcesce nastaje zbog zeninih neracionalnih trosenja....
(A kakoav god da je - od srca je!)
14. Muskarci ne mogu urediti prostoriju kao zene - zato sto su racionalni i realni!