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ROTFLMAO:D :clap:
Ovaj drugi je još bolji:clap: |
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Ma onaj plastični kirurg je Ferengi, zato sam ispao ovakav.
Ali je zato Ice poslovao sa Ferengijskim neurokirurgom.:D |
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Dobra stvar nema šta:clap: :beer:
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Da rezimiramo
Jučerašnja epizoda - OK , gledljivo :)
Današnja epizoda - fujjjjj , grozno , opet oni vedeki , kajevi , bajorci i slične gluposto - NEGLEDLJIVO :mad: |
Jučer je bilo ok, bili su mi smiješni Ferengiji u štrajku:D , a danas nisam gledal, izgleda da nisam puno propustil.
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Ice svaka ti dala!! : goood : :clap: : lol2 : |
Re: Da rezimiramo
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danas cista katastrofa. |
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Re: Re: Da rezimiramo
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Ice legendo. :clap: |
nemam pametnijeg posla , pak googlam i iščem ST humor
Disc Space, The Final Frontier!
These are the voyages of the starship Microsoft. It's mission: To explode strange new programs; To destroy new code and new competition; To boldly market where no one has marketed before! Borg at McDonalds: Fries are irrelevant. Borg math teacher: Summation is futile. You will be integrated. Your grades are irrelevant. Borg science teacher: Resistance is futile. Use a capacitor. Borg arresting officer: Resistance is futile. Put down your weapon and assimilate with your hands up! Borg to lunch: You will be assimilated. Key-borg: Your keystrokes will be assimilated. Lenard McBorg: He's assimilated, Jim! BorgDOS: Press any key to assimilate... BorgDOS: Assimilate, Resist, Futile? BorgDOS: Bad command or filename. Your data will be assimilated. BorgDOS: Insert disk to be assimilated in drive A: and press any key to continue. WinBorg: General Protection Fault. Assimilate? SpockBorg: Resistance is illogical. ScottBorg: She canna assimilate this much longer! Deanna Troi: I sense great resistance, great futility... Picard: Make it assimilate! Picard: To surrender or not to surrender... Worf: Klingons do not assimilate! Worf: It is a good day to resist. Data: To assimilate: to digest, absorb, take up, learn, understand, grasp, incorporate,...yes, sir! Data: To resist: to oppose, combat, contest, assail, counteract, defy, endure, confront... yes, sir! (I had to look up a thesaurus for those two!) Yoda: Futile is resistance, hmm? Luke: (to Borg Vader): I will never join you! Borgs Bunny: What's up, Borg? MacDonald's: Your order is irrelevant. Your money will be assimilated. SherBorg Holmes: Assimilatory, my dear Watson! Borg Gates: Tech support is irrelevant. Upgrading is futile. Your hard disk will be assimilated. Borg Tyson: Your ear will be assimilated. |
How many _____ does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many _____ does it take to change a lightbulb?
Klingons: "Klingons do NOT change lightbulbs!" Vulcans: Exactly 1.00000000 Ensigns: They can't, they get electrocuted everytime they go near one. Androids: "Lightbulb: a device for giving out light. An object emitting photons on command. Invented by Thomas Alva Edison in... Yes, sir!" Borg: "Changing the bulb is irrelevant. It will be assimilated." Q: "Changing lightbulbs is boring, I'll set it as a test for Jean-Luc!" Troi: "I sense a lot of bad humor here" Riker: "What the hell?" Picard: (insert a long pro-lightbulb speech here, involving rights to be changed, etc) Geordi: "The illumination device requires high frequency replacement but by replacing it with an isolinear multidimensional matrix chip, we can increase the power output by 42%." Wesley: "I can do that!" Kirk: "Spock... isthere... any... way... we... can..." Spock: "Captain, sensor's show that this lightbulb is not operational" McCoy: "It's dead, Jim" or "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an electrician!" Scotty: "We're running low on dilithium, Captain. I dunno how many more bulbs we can replace" Chekov: "Light bulbs were inwented in Russia" (apologies to Russians) Sulu: "Setting course for nearest electrical shop, Captain" Uhura: "Should I hail Radio Shack, Captain?" Ferengi: He'll sell you a new one... double price (and you'll think it's a bargain!) |
Pa dobro kak ti uspijeva to nač?
Svaka ti čast. :beer: |
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und some more
A. K. A. Alien: The Next Generation.
Scene 1: Some planet deep in the Federation that no one has been to. Riker, Data, Geordie are checking out the flora. Riker: What do you make of it Data? Data: It appears to be a large pod, but there are no roots. I am not sure what it is. I think we would be better able to examine it in a lab. Geordie: Data's right. There's movement inside, but I can't see it. Riker: Of course not. You're blind. Transporter room, three to beam up. Riker, Data and Geordie dematerialize with the pod in Data's hands. Scene 2: Biology Lab. Riker, Picard, Data, Crusher and Wesley are examining the pod. Wesley: Let me see! I want to see! Picard: Shut up Wesley! Data, what do you make of it. Data: It appears to be dormant at this time, Captain. I am not quite certain whether it is harmful or not. Picard: Hmmm. You mean it could be dangerous. Data: I believe that is what I said. Wesley: Let me see! I want to see! Why are adults always so big. Picard: Shut up Wesley! Riker: It's my fault, Captain. I let him have ice cream for desert. It won't happen again. Picard: Worf, is the decontamination circuitry working on the transporter? Worf: No sir. I believe an engineer is working on the transporter. Apparently, the decontamination circuitry is inoperative. Do you want them to fix it? Picard: Oh. Oh, yes, of course. Make it so. (to the rest) I think it would best if we isolated the pod. I think we should leave the lab until we know what we are dealing with. Everyone turns to leave except Wesley who moves closer. Wesley: Let me see! Picard: Shut up Wesley! The pod opens and a strange alien creature attacks. It attaches itself to Wesley's face and coils its thickly muscled tail around Wesley's neck. Wesley: Urghhh! Gluck! Guhhhhgghhh! Picard: Thank you. Crusher: Oh my god! It's got my son. Riker: Wesley, I thought I told you no "seconds," remember? Data: How interesting. It appears to be predatory, Captain. Picard: Indeed. I think you are right. Crusher: Will somebody do something!!!! The door opens and Yar bursts in. Yar: Wesley, didn't I explain to you about using aliens? Stand back everybody. Yar sets her phaser on full power and fires, blowing a hole in the alien creature. Fluids from the alien flow all over Wesley's face melting it down. Crusher: Oh! What have you done! Wesley, speak to me!!! Data: Wesley is unable to speak, doctor. As you can see, there is a strange tubular appendage protruding down his esophagus. I doubt the flow of air would be sufficient to permit speech. Picard: Good. Now let's get back to work. Crusher: I'm not going to let this happen. I'm going to save my son, no matter what. Scene 3: Data and Geordie are sitting at their consols; Riker, Picard and Troi are spreading in their seats; Yar and Worf are playing space invaders. Picard: Who farted?!! Riker: Not me. (looks across at Troi who turns red) Troi: (recovering) I feel guilt, but it's not mine. (looks over to Data) Data: I am an android, I do not fart. (looks at Geordie) Geordie: If it had been me, I would have seen it. (looks at Worf) Worf: Klingons fart only in airlocks. (looks at Yar) Yar: As your Chief of Security, I'd know if it had been me, sir. (looks at Picard) Picard: Shall we take a vote on it? (everyone looks at Picard) Intercom: Crusher to Bridge! Picard: Picard, bridge here, er, I mean.... Riker: (smiling) You mean bridge, Picard here, right sir? Picard: Yes! Thank you number one. What is it Dr. Crusher? Crusher: I think you better come down here, Captain, it's the alien, its gone! Picard: It is, oh, is Wesley dead? Crusher: No, he's alive. Picard: Damn. Just what does it take to get rid of him? We'll be right there. Lt. LaForge, you have the con. Geordie: Aye, sir. Picard, Riker, Data, Yar and Worf leave the bridge. Various other individuals enter from several different doors. Scene 4: Sick bay. Wesley's lying on the couch, as he sits up, half his face falls on the floor. Data: It appears Wesley has been picking his nose again. Riker: It's my fault. It won't happen again. Crusher: Wesley hasn't been picking his nose, it was the body fluids from the alien that did this. Yar: Found it Captain. (Yar picks up a rather large, beige crab with a lizard's tail attached to it) It's dead. Worf: Too bad. I would have enjoyed fighting it. Picard: By the way, what about the decontamination Worf? Worf: They are still inoperative, sir. If there are any it would be an honor to fight them for you, sir. Picard: (looking at Wesley) I would not think that ice cream would not be inappropriate for young Wesley, don't you think so number one? Riker: I agree sir. Data: (looking a bit puzzled) Captain, I tried to follow all your negatives, but I am not sure I understand what it was you said. Riker: (returning with the ice cream) Here you go Wesley. Wesley: Oh boy! (Wesley begins eating, but stops after a while) I don't feel so good. Yar: You see Wesley, ice cream makes you feel good while you're eating it, but when it's done, you don't feel so good. So say no to ice cream and you can have a figure like mine. Wesley's stomach pulsates, and then erupts in a mass of blood and ice cream. A small head appears and flashes its teeth. Worf flashes his teeth back. Alien: Keeee-yeaaaahnnnn!!!! Worf: Aaaaarggggghhhhhh!!!! Yar: Watch it Worf! Don't make him mad. Worf grabs a laser scalpel from a tray and attacks. The alien retreats into Wesley's body cavity and Worf attempts to pursue. There is a loud cracking sound as Wesley's rib cage is broken up. Worf: (sounding like Curly) Wub wub wub wub wub!!!! Wesley: (sounding like he's in pain) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH...... Data: Worf is now exhibiting the Klingon cry of glorious satisfaction. Picard: (looking at Wesley's dead body) I concur. Crusher: Ohh..hh.hh.hhhh....hhhh! (sniff) He.. waszz huh huh.. my only suh..huhhnnnn...uhhh! Picard: (slapping Crusher) Get a hold on yourself doctor. There are a thousand passengers and crew on this vessel. They need you. I don't think anyone needed...."the boy." Yar: Worf, did you get it? Worf: No, it got away. Scene 5: The bridge. Only Picard is there. Picard: Captain's log, stardate 35.77: This alien has killed my entire crew. I have tried to reason with it, but to no avail. I have no other choice but to do a saucer separation and make my way to the nearest starbase and inform starfleet. I have located the alien on deck 12, and will have the warp engines self destruct, killing this most horrible beast, this creature formed from some malevolent force, oh thou art such a cruel... uh, ahem... Captain out. Picard separates the saucer section and blows up the other half of the Enterprise. While snoozing in his chair, he becomes aware of a presence on the bridge with him. He becomes alert and readies his phaser. Picard: You!! You!! You've killed my crew, but I'll defeat you!!! The Alien drools and picks its teeth. A flash of light behind Picard causes him to turn. Q: Go ahead, kill it. It's an unknown, it's dangerous. What's the matter, Peck-hard, hair growing on the inside of that chrome dome cause your brain to malfunction? Picard: Q!!! So you're behind this. Where's my crew? What have you done you murderous scoundrel?!!!!! Q: Oh come now, mon Capitan. I'm just observing. I didn't bring the alien aboard. You did. Shoot it. It's dangerous. Picard: No, No!!! I won't do what you want. We're civilized. We aren't barbarians anymore. Picard lowers his phaser and the alien attacks, biting off a chunk of Picard's head. Q: Captain Picard. I wasn't joking this time. I really meant it, it's dangerous. I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Oh my. You foolish humans will never amount to anything. Even Microbrain was smarter than you. Picard: (dying) Whaaat... what did you mean you weren't joking... Q: (looking like Wesley) Shut up Picard. |
Data Becomes A Hacker
Riker: Data, you've got two minutes to break into the Borg mainframe!! Data: Acknowledged, Captain. big-e# telnet telnet> open borg.big.cube.mil Trying 301.143.45.45 ... Conected to borg422.big.cube.mil. Escape character is '^]'. BorgOS UNIX (borg422.big.cube.mil) login: root Password: login incorrect login: root Password: login incorrect login: locutus Password: Last login: Jun 25 2367 02:45:50 on console BorgOS Release 2.1.1 (BORG422) #422: Dec 12 09:07:30 GMT 2365 Message of the day: Usenet is irrelevant. BIFF is futile. You have mail. borg422% sleep & [1] 1489 borg422% ...Broadcast message at 19:02:34 from root@borg422.big.cube.mil: System shutdown in three minutes... borg422% borg422% logout Connection closed by foreign host. big-e# |
Več mi se neda copy pastirati :) , pa evo ljepo vam svima STranicu na kojoj imate dosta takbog humora , pa ko voli nek izvoli.
Naravno ak najdem slučajno nekaj odlično , to odmah ide copy paste sim :D |
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Za sve one koji voliju ST , a ne pijeju samo Juicy ko ja evo jedna igrica za igrati u društvu. UPUTE
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Jedva čekam večeras film i hvala bogu kaj ga nisu stavitli u ponoć ili kasnije:beer:
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da fala bogu!
kaj pocela je sigomanija |
Da bilo je i vrijeme da si sredim sig
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bio je odlican nastavak. iako mi jos nije jasno kako su mogli imati transwarp jel ak se dobro sjecate borga i njihovog pogona.
PS daj moalo pogledajete zadnjih par poruka! kao sto sam irekao izgleda da buju sigove debelo nadjacali poruke iliti tekst!!:D |
Film je bio odličan. Najbolja scena je kad su pokušali uć u transwarp. Citiram: "Najveća brzina za 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 i čorak, samo zvuk rikavajućeg motora" :D
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Ekscelzior klasa je bil brod koji je trebal biti sposoban za tranzwarp , ali kolko smo vidli za sad nič od toga.:)
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jel ali ako dobro postelas cache nebu ti svaki put skidal;)
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If my Granny had wheels, she would be a Bicycle. : lol2 :Scotty legenda.
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Film was OK. Sljedeči je onaj sa povratkom u prošlost i kitovima :)
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Kad pocinju filmovi s Picardom?
btw. kaj je bilo ono "spocku" kaj se dogada kao svakih 7 godina... ono kad mu je glava bila u k****. |
a ste vidli kak su rijesili problem?
ona stara koka se ponudila bez pardona samo da mladi "zdrijebec" ne pati:p :D |
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Pa normalno da se moraju jebat svakih 7 god. kad 7 god. ni s od sexa,nakupi se!!!:clap:
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